Bob Burg

Are you a Giver? If not, learn ways to be a Go-Giver

Are you a Giver? If not, learn ways to be a Go-Giver

Dr Bob Burg

Keynote Speaker, Coauthor of “The Go-Giver” and Founder of The Go-Giver Community Network

About Bob Burg

Bob Burg shares how a subtle shift in focus is not only a more uplifting and fulfilling way of conducting business but the most financially profitable way, as well. For 30 years he’s helped companies, sales leaders, and their teams to more effectively communicate their value, sell at higher prices with less resistance, and grow their businesses based on Endless Referrals.

Bob has regularly addressed audiences ranging in size from 50 to 16,000 — sharing the platform with notables including today’s top thought leaders, broadcast personalities, Olympic athletes and political leaders including a former United States President.

Although for years he was best known for his book Endless Referrals, it’s his business parable, The Go-Giver (coauthored with John David Mann) that captured the imagination of his readers.

The Go-Giver, a Wall Street Journal and BusinessWeek Bestseller, has sold over a million copies. Since its release it has consistently stayed in the Top 25 on Porchlight’s (formerly 800-CEO-READ) Business Book Bestsellers List. The book has been translated into 30 languages. It was rated #10 on Inc. Magazine’s list of the Most Motivational Books Ever Written, and was on HubSpot’s 20 Most Highly Rated Sales Books of All Time.

Bob is the author of a number of books on sales, marketing and influence, with total book sales approaching two million copies.

The American Management Association named Bob one of the 30 Most Influential Leaders and he was named one of the Top 200 Most Influential Authors in the World by Richtopia.

Bob is an advocate, supporter and defender of the Free Enterprise system, believing that the amount of money one makes is directly proportional to how many people they serve.

He is also an unapologetic animal fanatic and served on the Board of Directors of Furry Friends Adoption and Clinic in his town of Jupiter, Florida.

 

Take home these learnings

1) Understanding the concept of giving.
2) Giving up the undercurrent of expectation.
3) Exploring the law of value, compensation, and influence.
4) Stepping into the concept of authenticity and receptivity.

Listen to the specific part

2.00
intro

Episode Transcript:

Bob Burg A The xMonks Drive Wow! So, finally we are done with the International Coaching Week 2022. What a monumental week it was… We had over 20 speakers, around 2500 people who joined us from over 45 countries. Hope you could join us for some of the sessions if not all. There were Conversations around Coaching, Purpose, values, parenting, and business And if there is one word that was common in most of the sessions if not all, I could say that was “Giving” · What does it mean to give and be a Go giver? · Would you like to be generous in your approach while you make more money? · How do you deal with people who are there to extract something from you always? · How do you distinguish between the price you are charging and the value you are delivering? Welcome ladies and gentleman, welcome to our the podcast The xMonks Drive. I am your host Gaurav Arora, and our today’s guest is Bob Burg. Bog is thought leader, an author of 8 books including the Go giver Series. Let’s hear from the master how did he come up with this concept of giving and how can this be applied in the Business Context today. Outro// Was an amazing conversation it was. My key take aways from this episode are: · While you are giving, make sure you've set your limits your boundaries, and you respect your own boundaries, and you insist others that they respect yours. · The genuine influencer focuses on the benefit of the other person · Being as acting congruently with your values. What are your key take aways. I would love to hear about your learnings, insights, and reflections. Please do rate this episode and leave a comment, and I look forward to meeting you next week with another interesting conversation. Till then stay tuned and take care. 00:02 GRV: So here we go. Bob, thank you so much. Such a pleasure having you here. 00:07 BOB: Pleasure is mine. Thank you. 00:10 GRV: How have you been today? 00:12 BOB: Doing great. It is just such an honor and a pleasure to be with you. And I've been so looking forward to this. 00:18 GRV: Yeah. You know, Bob, I personally feel the book that you've written, The Go Giver, it's a gift to humanity. Now, that's what I was talking to you. Let me just share with you my first interaction, my first encounter with the book, Go Giver. This was in the year 2009, I was working with an organization, and I was into business development and sale. The head of that department, Krishna, He came to me and said, Goro, he just handed over this book to me. He said, Gaurav, you should read this book. And I said, Why do you say so? He said, I've always seen you chasing and running after business. Every time when people come to you, you're only concerned about business. You're only working In the morning at eight o'clock you're working, at 10 o'clock in the evening, you're working. He said, I believe this could be a game changer for you. I picked up this book, it said Go Giver, a little story about a powerful business idea. A little story about a powerful business idea. It did make sense. But go giver, I'm not here to give. I'm here only to get business. I picked up this book kept it in my library. Years after I read it for the first time in the year 2014. That was the time when I started experiencing something in my life, I came across some really amazing people. I was talking to you about this ng ng picked up this book again last year. I think there's one book, when people ask me, Gaurav is there one book that they should pick up and read. Without a doubt I tell them pick up this book called The Go Giver. Wow. Why am I sharing this with you, Bob? Because I would like to understand from the horse's mouth. You know, in the world where we live in, where people talk about capitalism, where people talk about GO GET IT. People talk about hustling. In the startup ecosystem, where everyone is hustling. Everyone is talking about funding, everyone is talking about scaling up, how did you come up with this idea of writing a book on giving? 02:35 So I think in a, on a larger view, it was that in learning sales myself, and starting out as that person who was you know, solely on technique, and you know, make the sale and this and that, and here's how you do it. But also, and not having a lot of success in that regard. But watching the people who were very, very successful, sustainably successful, who made a lot of money and made a lot of friends and felt great about themselves. I saw that there was one main characteristic, that their focus was always on how they could serve others. Now, this does not play with all with everything that we learn from the world around us, that we see on TV, or in the movies with the greedy business person who steps on to, it's a big world, there are all types of people out there some who do things that, we don't wish but in a world in which that most of us operate in that we're others are not forced to buy from us. Right, they're not going to buy from us because we have a quota to meet. They're not going to buy from us because we need the money. And they're not even going to buy from us because we're a genuinely nice person, they're going to buy from us because they believe they will be better off by doing so than by not doing so it actually makes sense that salesperson or that entrepreneur, who can focus on bringing immense value to their lives. That's the one who creates the environment for that sale to take place. Now, the neat thing about it, the great thing is twofold. One, when you operate that way, looking to bring immense value to others. You make more sales and you earn much more money. The second aspect is it feels so much better. Because I think we are built as human beings. Okay, despite what the world tells us as human beings we're built to want to make a difference. We're built to want to feel that we're adding value to people's lives. Yes, our family's lives and our friends lives and our social circles lives, but to everybody's life and as entrepreneurs and salespeople we do that mainly through our product or service. So it's congruent with our values, it's congruent with human nature, to feel good about helping others, and, earning a very, very healthy income. There is no dichotomy between the two. 05:14 GRV: Yeah, yeah. You know, Bob, it's so interesting, because every time when I read about the concept of giving, it could be your book, or there are people talking about Conscious Capitalism, there are people talking about compassionate capitalism, every time I read that concept, it makes so much sense to me, you know, as if it's a moment where I would like to experience pause, where I would want time to just stop. And let me just be in that moment. And the moment I go out and start interacting with people, something shifts, because the context that we live in the context does not support the concept that we are talking about that human beings are wired for connection, we are wired to contribute to the lives of other people. So how do you deal with that dichotomy? Which is, intrinsically you want something but in order to survive outside, you don't expect it to behave in a certain different way? 06:17 Well, who's I would ask the question, who's asking you to behave in that way? If it's the company, that saying, you must go out there and just get the sale no matter what. Well, if they're wanting you to be dishonest about it, then you can't work for that company. But even let's put that aside and say, they're just very numbers focused, they're numbers driven, okay? Well, first, you've got to decide if if that is congruent enough with your values that you can sell that way, but but I'm not telling anybody to quit their job, okay? What I'm saying is this, if you want to bring in the numbers, you're only going to do it through adding value to another person. Again, you got to keep in mind, nobody's going to buy from you because your boss wants you to produce the numbers. Okay, they're gonna buy from you, because they believe it's going to be of benefit to them. Now, I think more and more companies are recognizing this, but not all are right. And I can't tell you how many people have told me that when they were starting in their business, and this is even before they read the Go Giver, and they were looking to bring their focus was on bringing value to others. And their boss said to them, you'll never make it in business, if that's your focus, it's got to be on the money, it's got to be on the dollars, it's got to be on getting the and, and they didn't do it that way. And then they went on to have wonderful, immense careers where they made a ton of money by doing it this way. So again, there's nothing about this that is incongruent with human nature. Again, people aren't buying from you or from me, because we want them to, they're doing it. But remember, money is simply an echo of value. Right? Money is simply an echo of value, it's the thunder to values lightning, which means the focus must be on the value you're providing them. When that happens, the result is money. Right? Money is a natural result. Now, let's talk about the terms of capitalism. And then there's the you know, conscious capitalism, which was John McKay's from Whole Foods was his organization, compassionate capitalism. I love those except for I don't even think it's necessary to put those disclaimers before it, if you will, or though the disclaimer isn't the right word, but saying like, it's almost as though capitalism in itself isn't good. So you've got to put compassionate or you've got to put no, if you really look at what capitalism is. Capitalism is good. Why? Because capitalism is based on free choice. True capitalism. I'm not talking about the cronyism, that we're the corporatism where I don't know about your country, but in my country, we've got a lot of big conglomerates and special interests that they buy, through their lobbyists in Congress, they buy special favors privileges, and but right through there, that's not capital, that is not free market capitalism. That is cronyism. But true capitalism is when everyone is allowed to buy, sell and trade, right? However, they see fit, providing, of course, they don't commit force or fraud. That's not that right. But other than that, people are free to trade. So in other words, if you have something to sell, and someone wants to buy it, it's between the two of you, right? And again, the only way they're gonna buy from you is how if they feel that they're going to benefit from doing so that they want your product service and experience more than they want the money so they're willing to trade that for you, you know? Yeah, that's beautiful, that's capitalism. And when that intact capitalism to the degree that capitalism free market capitalism has been able to operate without government interference and from every bit, right. It's brought tons and tons of people out of poverty. It's increased wealth for the masses. Now, do we have a long way to go? Yeah, but I'll tell you what, it's not capitalism's fault. When you see poverty and you see horrors, in, you know, the horrors of life, you know, people being poor and not having? That's not because of capitalism. Typically, you look back. And that's because it's a brutal dictatorship, or it's a, you know, a government that is, so has their hands in so many fingers. And there's so much cronyism, that it keeps, you know, that's what keeps people down. So, you know, we never have to make an excuse for capitalism, what we need is more capital, we need more free market capitalism, where people have choices. And, you know, that's what really lives and it's really in a sense, what the Go Giver is about, you know, that's a shift in the people's right? 11:04 GRV: Yeah, that's a shift in my perspective, what you're talking about right now, that's capitalism is not bad. It's what we're doing about that. If you're forcing that swear, it's taking a detour. But 11:19 capitalism, right, exactly force is not capitalism. 11:23 Bob, when did you come up with this concept that what was the moment in your life where you said, “Hey, let me just take a pause here. Let me just say, where is the breakdown in our community in our society that gave birth to this breakthrough for you”? 11:40 In what, in terms of the the Go Giver philosophy or in terms? Yeah, So I had been in sales for a couple of years. And I've actually been fairly successful after first, you know, not really doing well, I then kind of learned about sales and began to do well, for a couple of years. And then I went to another company. And I was in a sales slump, I was not selling well at all. And I kind of reverted back to my old ways of just trying to make the sale as opposed to taking care of the customer. Right. And, again, this is about 40 years ago or so. So you know, young kid and made some mistakes. And, but fortunately, there was a gentleman at this new company where I work, he was not in the sales department, I think he was in the engineering department or something. But he's one of these wise older guys who just had a way of getting to the issue and, and I think he saw me as someone with a lot of potential. But as someone like Joe in the story, and the Go Giver, who is young, ambitious, aggressive, up and coming, but very frustrated, because their focus was not in the right place. Right. He knew my focus was on myself, not on my customers where it should be. And he said, Burg, he was a last name kind of guy, he's like Burg, can I give you some advice? And I said, Yes, please do, I need it. And he said, If you want to make a lot of money in sales, he said, don't have making money as your target. Your target is serving others. Now when you hit the target, he said, you'll get a reward. And that reward will come in the form of money, and you can do with that money, whatever you choose. But never forget, the money is simply the reward for hitting the target. It's not the target itself. Your target is serving others. 13:31 I think that's what the law of value is all about. 13:33 Yeah. Oh, exactly. Absolutely. And of course, I wouldn't write about that till 20 years later, when John David Mann and I, you know, wrote that, but 25-30 years, or whatever it was, till John, when John and I wrote that book. But that's, that's the law of value right there. 13:49 GRV: You know, as I said, that I'm 200% in sync with that. But how would you deal with people who are always there to extract value from you, who are always there to get something from you, and they don't have this concept of good philosophy in their life. You know, a friend of mine, he tells me that how to deal with people who believe that they have picked up a subscription model, and they are here only to extract value from 14:17 you. Sure. So how do you deal with those people? If you're a go giver? Are you going to get taken advantage of? Yeah, yeah, no, you're not gonna not if you don't let yourself being a Go Giver has nothing to do with being a doormat. You know, it has nothing to do with being self sacrificial. It has nothing to do with being taken advantage of. It simply means you understand that when you place your focus on others, they're much more likely to want to do business with you and so forth. Now, just because that other person doesn't see life that way. Doesn't mean you have to buy into their way of doing things. So what you're going to do is you're still going to provide value to them, but you're certainly not going to put yourself in a position where they can take advantage of you. So you're always going to kindly and tactfully and diplomatically, make sure you've set your limits your boundaries, and you respect your own boundaries, and you insist that they respect yours. But again, you do it tactfully. So if this is a person who they've hired you to do a certain job, but they're trying to get you to do more than you should be doing. And it's inappropriate what that you took for you to be doing that, then you'd simply say, I appreciate you asking, I believe, if you look at our agreement that we had, it said that, you know, my job to fulfill is doing this, this and that. Now, if you would like me to do some of these other things, we can discuss that and maybe chart, you know, talk about an increase in fees. And, and see if that's something that would work out, you know, if you want to do that, is that what you'd like to do in the purchase as well? No, no, it's okay. You know, but so we're not just, you know, giving into SubWord, because we're a Go Giver, no, we're providing them immense value, but we're still respecting ourselves and our boundaries. 15:55 You know, that's what Brene Brown talks about the concept of vulnerability. And yet, making sure that you have your boundaries well constructed, brighter, so that it does not interfere in who you are as an individual. Well, I do understand that being a Go Giver, and you spoke about the law of value, where you are adding value to the other person, you are adding value to the department that you're dealing with, you are adding value to the organization. I'm assuming it's a behavior, right? In order to live with this behavior, what kind of mindset shift which is required, because there are people who are up who are born and brought up in a context where they've got scarcity mentality, right, from a scarcity mentality, you cannot be a go giver. How to align that? 16:46 BOB: Well, that's where teaching mentoring, helping, coaching comes into play. But you've also got to have a student who is open to it, right? Because remember, we all grow up with our own belief systems, beginning from an upbringing environment, you know, schooling, news media, television, movies, social media, you know, we all get these. But by the time we're a little more than toddlers, our basic set of beliefs, what I call, our unconscious operating system, is already pretty much intact. So most people grow up and live an entire life, operating from this unconscious set of beliefs, not even realizing that's what they're doing. Okay. Yeah, and so, the first thing is, and this is where the relationship really comes into play. Once someone knows likes and trusts you, they're much more open to your ideas. And when you can help them see that, yes, maybe they've attained some real good success in their life. But not like it could be, you know, when you help them to kind of see that there's something maybe a little bit missing, that they're not yet doing that they could. And when they're open to that idea, now you're in a position to help them see that really the best thing they could do for themselves in their own interest, is to actually place the other person's interests first, again, it all goes back to that premise, people are going to do business with you, because they believe they'll be better off by doing so. So if somebody really wants to have a, you know, a focus on themselves, Well, the best thing they can do is focus on that other person. Now, here's the good news about this, once they begin doing this, and focusing on that other person actually placing that other person's interests ahead of their own, right. Not only are they going to create more business and have more money, but they're going to feel great about it. So that's, you know, goes back to what we were talking about before, you know, it ends up being congruent with their true, authentic values, maybe not the ones they were brought up with, because they were taught by people who maybe didn't know better themselves, you know, 18:55 you know, I can relate with what you're talking about. Because it's, it's getting into a slot. Also, when you spoke about the internal operating system, and now I can relate with that, in the book you mentioned, you don't get what you want, you get what you expect. And unless I work on my inner operating system, I will continue to focus on what I want, without focusing on what I'm expecting. So here's the undercurrent of expectation. But then I said I would watch so and so. And the moment there's misalignment, I would not be getting what I'm 19:32 not great point. You know, I like to think of it as using the word. So you've got, you know, what you would like to happen, what you expect to happen, but then what you're attached to happening. So when we can expect good things, but not be emotionally attached to the outcome. That's when we actually place ourselves in a position that's so very positive because it means we do the work we need to do we take all the action that's within our control, because some things are within our control and other things aren't. So we take the action that's within our control, we expect good things to happen. Why wouldn't we, of course, but we're not attached to the outcome, we prefer it, but we're not attached. So our sense of happiness, joy and peace of mind is not dependent upon this thing actually happening. And when that happens, now we change ourselves, and we attract more of those people to us who we want to have in our lives. 20:29 So you are giving not because the other person is in need, you are giving because that's your absolute nature? 20:39 Yeah, it's who you are. And because it's who you are, it's what you do. Sure. Yeah. 20:43 GRV: You know, in our scripture, books, Bhagavad Gita, it says, karam kar fal ki chinta mat kar. What it means is just do your deeds, without expecting anything in return. Dr. Covey talks about in his book called Seven Habits of Highly Effective People where he talks about that your results are dependent on the principles. And here now I can connect why you say it's a law, it's a law of value. That's the reason you did not mention, according to my assumption, you did not mention these are the five traits. You said it's a law, law of value. Let's take one step forward, Bob. The second law that you talk about is the law of compensation. Tell me more about that. And how can I actually apply that in the world where I'm living in? That's one question. The second question is, does the law of value applicable? As much as when you wrote that book? Right? Is it applicable in the today's world as well, when we are moving towards metaverse? We are moving to the digital platforms, where we are connecting with each other on screens? 21:57 BOB: Yeah, all the principles are universal in nature, which is why their principles and not just strategies or techniques, strategies and techniques change, of course, you know, but principles are principles. And you know, I often say in the the underlying premise of all my work for over 30 years has been that all things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like, and trust, not to those computers, they know like and trust, but to those people, because remember, it's the people at the computer. It's the people in the metaverse, right even though control, you know, who are ultimately people are doing business with referring to following, leading, being in relationship with other human beings with people. So the law of compensation says that your income is determined by how many people you serve, and how well you serve them. So we're law of value is about the immense experience, you provide a person through your product through your service and everything else you do, your excellence, consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation, all those things go into that value based experience. One, number two says, the more people whose lives you touch or impact with that exceptional value, the more money with which you will be rewarded. 23:22 Grv: And so the first one is the law of value is all about adding value to the person that you're dealing with. Compensation is where we are further scaling it up. 23:30 Yeah, exactly. Exactly. 23:33 GRV: And now I can say why you say it's a little story book about business idea, powerful business idea, because I think that's what most of the companies are doing. Most of the successful companies are doing that able, they're seeing that how best they can add value to the customer for the investment that they are making. And then the second is how can we have more than one individual that we can? 23:58 Exactly, Exactly. 24:02 You know, the third one is influence. Tell me more about this, because one of my friends, he talks about that influence is all about making things happen. It's about leverage. It's about making sure that you can get the work done through other people through other resources that you have. What's your take on that? What is the law of influence? according to you? 24:25 So the law of influence, which is law number three says your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first. Now, that sounds really, you know, counterintuitive, but again, when we say place other people's interests first, we don't mean at your own expense. We don't mean you're supposed to be a martyr or self sacrificial. It's again, understanding that know, like and trust, right, and understanding that the fastest, the strongest the most powerful way to have people feel good about you, to want to be in relationship with you, to know you, like and trust you, right, is by as Sam, one of the mentors told Joe in the story, making your win all about the other person's win. Okay, let's look at influence a little deeper. On a very basic level, we can define influence as the ability to move a person or persons to a desired action, usually within the context of a specific goal. That's by definition, that's influence. Now, that's depth, that's its definition. But it's not necessarily its essence. The the essence of influence is Pull, pull as opposed to push as in the saying, how far can you push a rope? Well, not very, not, at least not very fast or very effectively, which is why great influencers don't push people. They don't push their will on others. They don't push their ideas on others, they don't push themselves, they're not pushy. You know, we never hear someone say, Wow, that David or that Susan, she is so influential, she has a lot of push with people know, she's influential, she has a lot of pull with people right? Now, what is this pull made of? What's the substance of pull? Well, this is where the genuine influencer focuses on the benefit of the other person, right? How does what I'm asking this person to do? How does it align with their goals, with their needs, with their wants, with their desires? How does what I'm asking this person to do? How does it align with their values? What problems am I helping them to solve? How am I helping them to accomplish their goals? How am I helping to to make their lives happier and more fulfilling? Now, when we ask ourselves these questions thoughtfully, intelligently, genuinely authentically, not as a way to manipulate another human being into doing our will, but as a way of building everyone in the process? Now we've come a lot closer to earning that person's commitment to our idea, that is influence? 27:20 GRV: Bob, while you're sharing that, a word that is resonating with me, and I love that word, where you have spoken about connecter in the book several times. Now, here's the question every time when I would want to put other person's interest above my interest, and I'm noticing me sacrificing anything. But there's an inner voice that says, What if the other person gets more than what you have? There's an other inner voice that will tell you what if he grows more than you ? What does he want? What if he grows old and you write His circle of influence expands more than yours? How do you deal with that inner voice, because that would be really nagging? It's a wonderful thing. 28:12 That's what we want. You know, you always want to help someone else build that's not only good, it's not at your own expense. But they're happening to build even bigger than you. That doesn't hurt you. In fact, if anything, it helps you because you probably have now influenced with their group because they appreciate you but even if not the fact that they've grown takes nothing away from you. We don't want to compare ourselves. We don't want to live on the competitive plane, we want to live on the creative plane. Now I love knowing from people and hearing from people that they read the Go Giver years ago, and that their business just is going amazing. And I know they're earning more money than I am. I do well, but they're doing really, really well. I love it. To me, it's the greatest compliment. It's wonderful. It means that my idea, John's and mine, you know, my co author, it means that influence someone to be able to create so much value in their world that they have done immensely well. 29:12 What what happens to that competitive voice which is nagging you? How would. 29:20 you don't have to lose your competitive spirit. There's a time and place for everything. You know, when we play sports, okay, if you play cricket, you know, you're competing. You know, I mean? Of course you are, you know, if you play football, we call it soccer in the United States, but for everybody else in the world football, play football, you're competing, nothing wrong with that there's a time and place for everything. But we want to live on the creative plane. We compete when it's appropriate. But really what we want to do is we want to create 29:54 and what are the few ways to build on the influence? 29:58 What are a few ways. The best way to build an influence is understand this, that when you want to bring value to others, it's understanding that value is always in the eyes of the beholder. It's what they believe is a value, not what we believe they should think. Remember, we all see the world from our own set of beliefs. So we value something. So, I often tell me, you know, the difference between price and value, price is dollar figure or whatever currency you know, someone has, right? Whether it's pounds, or the peso or the yen, or the doesn't matter, the euro. Price is about is the money itself. Value is the relative worth or desirability of a thing of something to the end user or beholder. What is it about this thing, this product service concept idea? What have you that bring so much worth or value to another human being that they will willingly exchange their money, their time, their energy, you know, what happened before this, in value is always in the eyes of the beholder. So when we're looking to influence another, we must first know what they value 31:19 What a beautiful explanation. Thank you to understand what other person's values. You know not several years back, John Gray wrote a book on different love languages. He did something similar to what you're talking about, you might want to express your love through a hug. But what if the other person wants to listen to that? 31:45 Right or same quality time or have gifts or have words of affirmation? And you know, in Dr. Chapman's book, I think he he really explained in a sense, what it was that the whole value thing is about, because of your just as you said, if you're expressing your love in a way that that is your love language, but it's not the other person's love language. Not only are they not going to find it to be a value to them, but you're going to be totally hurt, that they didn't find it, and you're not going to understand why they didn't find it to 32:19 be. And that's what happens. Right? Right. That's exactly it. That's what happens in person relationships. That's what happens and professional relationships. That's what happens in businesses. So is it okay to ask the other person? Hey, how can I add value to you? Is it considered as valuable? 32:40 That's a wonderful question. And it all depends on where you are in the relationship. It depends on you know, what I'm saying? So it might be that, you know, you can do some research on this person as well. And you can find out some of their likes, what do they say online about their family? Or their recreation? Or what charities are they involved in or, you know, different things that you can kind of be able to focus on a little bit? How do they like to be connected with each other, you know, sometimes we want to connect to people who we think would be really great, you know, connecting for each other. But while one person just loves those blind to weigh in connections, other people don't like it at all. Yeah, to add value to them, you first got to reach out to them and say, Hey, there's someone I'd like to connect you with. It's so and so. So would you like to meet that person? May I make an introduction into them? That's value, but if you just send them, do they, the two of you are great people, you probably have synergy. Go ahead. And you know, I'm like, oh, no, you know what I'm saying? And they're more angry than they are? You know, so it's always determined, but yes, sometimes, absolutely. You know, you can depending upon again, where you are in the relationship, you can say, you know, how can I best add value to you? How can I, I always like to ask the question, How can I know if somebody I'm speaking with would be a good prospective customer for you? Now, not only are you in a position to be able to hopefully, you know, find somebody like that, because now you know, so you can keep it in mind. But they know, you have their best interests at heart. 34:13 Yeah, yeah. You know, now I know why Zane talks so much about you. 34:20 I love Zane. He's such a mentor to so many of us 34:23 In every conversation. And I often speak to him very, I mean, at least once in 15 days time for something or the other. Not even a single conversation that has gone without your mention. 34:35 Oh, thank you. That's nice. Yeah. He's such a great man. 34:41 He is. So Bob, let's take one step ahead. Where you have spoken about the law of authenticity? It's a very tricky, very fragile kind of mind to step onto. 34:54 How would you define authenticity? And, you know, very often I've come across People are saying, You know what, he's not very authentic. She's not very authentic. But when you speak to that person, he's the most authentic person ever stepped on? How can they are there are two different perspectives to the same person, one from himself or herself, one from the eyes of that person. So, 35:19 well remember, we all come from our own set of beliefs. So the a person's always interpreting another person through their own eyes and their own set of beliefs. So very quickly, I define authenticity, as being as acting congruently with your values. That's it. It doesn't mean you can just say whatever you want, it doesn't mean you can just let it all hang it doesn't mean you get no. And some people I think confuse authenticity with that. No, authenticity means you act congruently with your values. That's it. 35:55 No hand on heart, Bob, of the five laws that you've spoken about in the book, law of value, compensation, influence authenticity, and the last one is receptivity. Where have you struggled the most? And where you had to consciously push yourself to live that on a day to day basis? 36:14 Yeah, I mean, I think it was something I had to get over. And I do well with it now. But I think it's something I struggled with. And I find that we find that most people do, and that is the fifth one, the law of receptivity, it's sometimes a lot easier to give value than it is to receive it from others. And that's because of the like we were talking about earlier, the message that the world around us gives us about prosperity. I think there are so many anti prosperity messages out there, about money, about wealth, about business, that it can really get into a person's unconscious mind, right? And they can, and because of this, they're not even aware of it, they can push away and sabotage their own prosperity, that times, so I think we have to understand that receiving is just the other side of the it's the same. Giving and Receiving are simply two sides of the very same coin. They're not opposite tasks. I like to do it like this. And I think there's no simple way we breathe out. We also have to breathe in. It's not one or the other. We breathe out carbon dioxide, we breathe in oxygen, we breathe out which is given, we breathe in which is receiving if we keep in mind, right, 37:30 yeah, if you continue to give back that would be the end of all, if you continue to receive, that would be the end of fall. 37:39 Yeah. And as you receive, you have more to give. And as you give more, you receive more. And as you receive more. Yeah, and that's that delightful cycle of success. So we don't want to do one and ignore the other or downplay the other. But we know it starts with the giving, right? This is laws of nature we plant before we harvest, we sow before we reap, we give before we receive. But when we give, and we give, we touch the lives of many, and we place their interests first, and we act congruently with our values. Now we've created that what we call benevolent context for your success. And as that happens, you've got to be able to allow yourself to receive with gratitude. 38:24 Bob, what do you think since we are talking about we need to receive that with gratitude? You know all these five laws come easily to few. And few people struggle to live from that space. What do you think? What comes in the way for an individual to operate from this space? 38:46 Oh, I mean, human, you know, human nature, what we learn, how we grow up and the messages we receive from the world. You know, we've got to be able to work through those. And that's why, you know, continue reading, listening, studying, talking with people being willing to listen to other ideas, really learning how to think instead of what to think, and questioning our premises, you know, to ask, Well, why? Why does this person say this? Or why when people say something like, oh, people with money are all greedy, or something like that? Well, why does that person say that? What is in their experience that makes them feel that way? Are all people greedy? Is every single person who's wealthy or they all agree? Or do some of them, you know, earn their money because they were so given? Or just somewhat, you know, I mean, again, really all? So let's question our premises. And we do that within, you know, will won't people, if I do this, people will try to take advantage of me, everyone will, really everyone will. Or maybe just some people because that's how some people are and if they're How can we protect ourselves, while still making sure that we, you know, again, it's asking the questions, it's checking the premises Is and really thinking through. And that's why you know is my my business partner Kathy and I and we have something called the Go Giver community, which is an online community network for go givers. That's what we're trying to put, you know, we want to build this to a million people a million go givers, right? It's like a social media network for go givers, a million go givers, because we want people sharing this message. Just like Pindar wanted Joe to share the message, right? Yeah, yeah. Because we want the more, the more we can help this world all of not me. But all of us help this world to have an abundance mindset to know that the more value you focus on bringing others, the more is going to come back to you. Yes, that's what we want to do. 40:43 Yeah. So let's say if you were to make a revision to this book today, what revisions would you bring in today, where you are in your life? And I'll tell you, where, where am I coming from? I told you right. The first time I came across this book was quite early in my career. A few days back. A couple of months back, I revisited this book. And I met this book where I was, and for me, that's what a good book does to you. So if you were to revise this book, what division would you bring ii? Um, 41:23 I don't know that there's much that we would revise. I mean, I think the principles are fairly intact. I think there's a couple things we would have explained differently. We would have made the point I think that when when when Gus said to Joe, you know you're a real go getter. And Joseph, thank you and gusset Don't thank me yet. I think people interpreted that to mean being a go getter is not a good thing. Whereas being a go getter is a great thing. We want people to be go getters and take action. We want them to take action while focusing on being a go giver who adds value to others. We would say the opposite of a Go Giver is a go taker, not a go getter. I would have liked we would probably revise that. And where where Sam told Joe that, you know, forget about 50 fit, or he said forget about win win. Okay, you know, and what we really meant was not forget about win win win wins a great thing. But what he explained to to Joe, which most people didn't get is that people say win win. Yeah, what they really mean is I want to win, even if you lose, and so we would explain that more. But again, in a parable, sometimes there's such limited space, because it's a short story. But that's still no excuse we would we would make those two explanations. 42:41 Thank you so much, Bob. As I mentioned, this is definitely a gift to humanity. Thank you. Definitely one of my top three books to visit, revisit. And thank you so much for being who you are. 42:55 That means so much to me. Thank you so much. I love the work you're doing and just I just send you continued blessings and stratospheric success. 43:04 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day ahead. And I'm sure they will connect again.
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