Intro:// · If I ever come to you and ask you about the wildest dream you would want to live before you say goodbye to this life. How would you respond to that? · Have you been able to figure out the possible reasons for that wall of separation between you and those you were friends with an one point and time? · How to nurture friendship and connections? Welcome ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the podcast The xMonks Drive. I am your host Gaurav Arora and our today’s guest is Skip Linberg. Skip is a dear friend and a podcast host “The Main Thing” In our today’s episode, we explored topics around friendship, Connection and purpose. Let’s take a dive and let’s explore together… Outro:// My key take aways from this episode are: 1. First one: Once you know your purpose, everything becomes simplified. 2. Second one: Intentionality, and Focus and Discipline. And I am still reflecting on the question “What did God put you on this earth to do?” You know, I remember asking myself a similar question during one of my visits to Austin, USA…While sitting alone at Mount Bonell…. To know more…stay tuned and I look forward to share with you what happened at Mount Bonell in the next episode…that continues to guide me till today…BTW, do share your reflections, learnings and rate this podcast…. 00:04 GRV: Thank you so much Skip, for finding time, and accepting my invitation to be on the show, The xMonks Drive, such a pleasure having you here. 00:14 SKIP: Rather, I'm honored, and I'm so excited for this conversation, it's a blessing to know you. And I just can't wait to see what we'll unpack and discover today in our conversation. 00:28 GRV: I'm sure we are going to create something very meaningful for all our listeners. You know, Skip, you meet people in your life. And then you thank the universe. Yes. Meeting with you was one such episode in my life. And you know what? I talked to myself, and I tell them that there are times when you meet people. And you realize as if the time has stopped because you're so much in this moment. And my every conversation with you has been like that. The experience, the time has stopped. There's something magical happening within. And I can just be in this state, that I can experience a deep level of connection with you. So thank you for being who you are. 01:23 SKIP: Thank you for those kind words, I humbly accept those. I feel the same about you. And it is a blessing. That's there's no other way to describe it. But I will say that in our first or second meeting, you asked me, one of the most powerful questions anyone's ever asked me in my lifetime. And I asked questions for a living. So I appreciate a great question. And that question still ranks as probably the most important question that anyone has ever asked me. And as you, know what, you know, well, too well, and our listeners can now know that. I asked for two weeks to get back to you. Well, I thought about my answer. Yeah. And where are you on that question? I, so we should bring our listeners in on this little secret that we're talking about because it shouldn't be a secret. The question was, Gaurav, you said to me Skip, what would you do or accomplish in your lifetime that would represent your wildest dreams and your greatest accomplishment? The question helped me to realize and appreciate 03:01 skip, I guess, second, I guess we, we missed? Um, there was a break in the network. So I just hear the question. But after that, I could not hear anything. 03:13 So you can? Yeah. Thank you. I came back to you with an answer two weeks later. And it was a two-part answer. I said, first of all, your question helped me to discover that I'm already living my wildest dreams. I'm so blessed. And the things that I have are. I have it all. So there was an appreciate, a deeper appreciation. Thanks to your question. The second thing was some of my wildest dreams which I shared with you things that involve planning and taking trips with my father. Increasing the reach of my message with my podcast and the platform there. And so on, but it was a fabulous question. And thank you for that. 04:04 GRV: Thank you, I remember where you spoke about your son, you spoke about your wife and you spoke about your father. And I was so touched because when you said that you are living your wildest dream because you very rarely come across people who can say that it's so much of conviction that they are living their wildest dream. I'm just wondering, you know, you've spoken about podcasting is something that you really love, because that's your way of spreading the message that you have. Teaching is something that you really love. Yes. Just curious. What was that moment when you realized that that's something that you would like to do for the rest of your life? 04:49 SKIP: Gaurav, it's a story. Do you mind if I share that story with you? I remember like it was yesterday. 04:55 I would love to. 04:58 SKIP: I was early in my entrepreneurial journey I had just launched a marketing and advertising consulting firm, new business owners, small business owner. We had probably five or six employees at the time. And we were striving and straining and hustling to make success to break even, to meet our customers to deliver great quality services to our customers. In 2003, this was 2001. So I'm in early in the third year, my business. I get a call from a friend who says, Skip, would you like to go to the Tom Peters Summit, and on his farm in Vermont, and it's about a month from now. And this, my friend's name is Rob. Rob had overlapped with Tom in the consulting world. Tom Peters is one of the most famous business authors in America, if not the world. And he and Rob overlapped. Tom was with McKinsey and Company and Rob was with Ernst and Young consulting. Rob was right to be invited to the, Rob belong there. And I'm pretty sure Rob had another successful, sharp, accomplished business consultant. That was probably his first invitation, whoever that was, I'm sorry. They weren't able to go but I was. And so a month later, we made the trip to Vermont. And I got to enjoy a three-day weekend with Tom Peters. It was right before the launch of his new book called Reimagine. And like I said it was held in his hometown, parts of the event were on his farm. Tom is a business hero of mine, and I got to spend up close and personal time with him over a three-day weekend. It was really special event. The first night, we had the whole group gathered together in this old historic small, quaint Vermont town in New England. And we gathered in the public library had a large a meeting room, a group, town hall meeting room in the second floor. And that's where we had our introductory dinner. We mixed and mingled and Tom called the group together and he tapped on his wineglass and he gathered us all into a circle. And he gave us a welcoming remark. And he said, Hey, guys, I'm gonna go around the room here in a moment. And as an icebreaker question, I want us to get to know each other really well. I want us to really get to know each other quickly. Develop a level of trust and rapport. And I'm gonna ask you a question. The question is this, Tom said, why? It's deep and it's a very small scale skips, skip, skip, the network is breaking again. Give it a moment. Yeah. So there we are, in April 2003, gathered in the circle in Vermont, and Tom Peters hometown. And he looks around the group of 30 or so business leaders. And he says, “What did God put you on this earth to do?” That was the icebreaker question. And as my throat went dry, my heart started pounding and I started scrambling in my brain for what how in the world I'm going to answer this question that really pierces my soul. And it's such an important big question. Fortunately, Tom turned, and he pointed to start at directly opposite me around the circle. So, fortunately, I was not the first person which meant that I had a few minutes to think about my answer. But as I sat there, and stopped consciously thinking to try to recall the answer, which really didn't exist in my brain, the answer was in my soul. And I just had to listen and be quiet for a moment. And I really think grabbed at that moment, the first time that God revealed to me that, my true purpose is to be a teacher. And God put me on this earth to teach. And so as I go about publishing my podcast, which is about distilling, curating and distilling and distributing wisdom, in fact, teaching, I'm sharing wisdom with other folks. And so that's my purpose. My purpose is to be a teacher and that moment in 2003, at Tom Peters business event called the Reimagined summit was when I first was able to articulate that 09:54 SKIP: and it was a great event, by the way, great event it was fun. I learned a ton we got great merchandise that came back with a fleece pullover, a hat, all kinds of, a briefcase. He had rock disc jockey that would play bumper music. In between sessions, we get five music, five minutes of music from a professional DJ, and all kinds of cool stuff. Everyone that was there, most of the folks there were business authors, they brought their book, I came away with more books than I could carry home on the airplane, free from those authors and I've met just made a tremendous relationship connections, many of which lasts to this day. 10:34 GRV: In fact, interestingly, in all my conversations, you have accentuated, you have given importance to relationships and connections. You know, there are so many relationships that we have in our lives. You are a father, your brother, your son, your friend, you are an HR, you are a coach, you are a citizen, there are so many relationships that people are in, just curious, how do you manage different roles in your life? And what's your angle? 11:09 SKIP: Fabulous question, Gaurav, I think the way I manage is to go back to my purpose. So each of those that you mentioned, I enjoy athletics, I've been a basketball coach, I enjoy working out at my gym, I practice the style of fitness called CrossFit. And I became certified to be a level one certified CrossFit instructor and I taught athletes, adult athletes, how to get in shape and in a gym for five years. At my church, which is a big part of my life, I am a group, a small group leader, and I'm also function in an elder, church elder role where I'm an advisor and coach to the pastor and other leaders in the church. In my business life, where I have gotten the most, where I've gotten the most validation and where I've made the biggest contribution, my highest and best use has been mentoring other professionals, regardless of where I'm working, or what role I'm in, investing in other people taking the time to listen, taking the time to appreciate their ideas and explore their ideas, taking the time to offer suggestions and gentle helpful constructive criticism when that's appropriate. Or to hold people accountable. Someone says, “Hey, I want to stop doing this or do more of that. I want to make sure I meet this deadline, Hey, can I help with that, I'll put a reminder, and I'll check back in with you. I'll be your accountability partner.” So in every parenting, obviously, I'm a coach and mentor, and encourage her to my children. So yeah, I think in every in every aspect, it goes back to my purpose, I think once you know your purpose, everything becomes simplified. 12:56 GRV: You know, the statement itself is so easy to carry that once you understand your purpose, life becomes easy. A difficult part is how to find a purpose. You know, just before this conversation, I was leading another conversation, and we were talking about this. And it took me a lot of time to come to one basic statement that I continue to revisit. I mean, do you have any formula? Do you have any process? Do you have any structure that could help people to come up with their purpose? 13:33 SKIP: Gaurav, I think the answer is different for everyone. Unfortunately, I don't have a formula and like you, I don't think I had that answer until I was around the age of 40. Wisdom can't be rushed. It can't be accelerated. There's no fast-forward button finding one's purpose. However, I think it involves certain things which are looking inside oneself. Making space and time for quiet reflection, studying, putting yourself in the company of other wise people so you can see what those people do and what they value is their purpose, and how they discovered it. So those are just a few thoughts, but I don't think it's a one size fits all answer or process. 14:24 GRV: It's like keep experimenting. Keep reading, keep practicing. And slowly and steadily we'll start getting a glimpse of that. 14:33 SKIP: Yes. And listen, look inside and listen. Be prayerful about it. Make time for that, be very disciplined. It's not about how many books can I read in the next month, that's not going to do it that's sort of pushing as much knowledge and information through our brain as we possibly can in a short period of time is not going to reveal our purpose. It’s not going to make us more wise, it may make us more confused and feel more stressed. 15:06 GRV: Yeah, yeah. You know, just curious. Skip. I remember our last conversation and you mentioned of all the relationships that you've experienced in your life, you believe the most important relationship is friendship? I do. Why would you say that? Why is friendship so important when you have so many other relationships in your life? 15:32 Yeah, I think it's vital. It has been for me, and there have been, I'm gonna give you a couple of different chapters of this answer. In the wall, I'm promised that I'll make them all fit together, it'll make sense. When I was young, I had friends that were just social friends. And we did things like watch sporting events, and we played golf, or we were in a softball league. And we had, we had conversations to pass the time, we talked about pop culture and sports. And we talked about temporary things. We talked about politics and the events of the day, and who's dating who, and what happened in Hollywood, right? None of that matters. None of that's lasting. None of that helped me grow or discover my purpose. Through the middle part of my life, my 30s into my 40s, I've started raising family having kids and men and women, I'll speak about men, particularly, we become very focused on our families and being providers being dads. And we are less concerned about our social connections, we're very, very, very tightly focused on our family. And so inevitably, we lose friendships, they fall away because we're not putting the investment into those relationships. And so the friends of our younger years eventually fall away. And we come to a point where we feel like a lone wolf, where we're so focused on our family and being providers for our family that we don't have any friends. And so for me, and I believe you have had this experience too, you've had to reach out and cultivate a new group of friends who are people that you want to surround yourself with. So if I go back about seven or eight years, I was at that point where I said, I really need to invest in surrounding myself with some friends who are wise and who are caring and who are unselfish. And were the kind of people that I want to emulate. And so I did that. And I'm happy to tell you today that I have an abundance of close friends, many of whom would fit in the category of Best Friend, they are trustworthy, they're wise, they help hold me accountable. They bring new knowledge and ideas to me that matter things we don't talk about politics, or Hollywood or sports or anything that's temporary. We talk about stuff that matters. We have deep conversations. When we're connected, it feels like time stops just like you and I. I feel blessed to have those kinds of friendships. But I've been very intentional about making sure that when I meet someone that I take the next step and I share something, I get to know them I asked about them, I share ideas with them, I give them life recommendations, book recommendations, I share new things, new truths that I discover, test with them, ask them to hold me accountable. I ask for help with these people, should be kind of people that want to help me, I want to help them. And when I need help, I ask them for help. And they love that it deepens the friendship. And so, you know, that's part of my main, approach to life is to pursue wisdom, and to keep the company of wise friends. And so the friendships that I have we're partners, we're truly committed. We talk about what matters, we're engaged in learning and accountability and growth. 19:09 GRV: I just love it. I just love it. You know, every time when I find myself and I feel like here's this person that I can grow old with Yes, that's what I find connection. You know, help me understand Skip if you were to give me a piece of advice in terms of three points that could help me to show that I cared. If you were to show that you care for your, for this person. You really care for this friendship, what are those three different ways to express that? 19:48 I haven't thought about that before. Let's think through it together. I have a few thoughts. I'm not sure how I would prioritize those but I'll take a pass at it. Number one is to initiate contact when know, when you're only responding to a friend and they're the always the initiator, it seems sort of out of balance or one way. And so make sure that you are periodically or half the time, the one who initiates contact. “Hey Gaurav, how are you?” I call you, text you, I email you. I'm initiating contact to check-in. What can I help you with? What have you discovered this week? What has the world taught you? How is your family? How can I pray for you? What are you struggling with? Number one, initiate contact. Number two, be more concerned about them than you are about yourself. It's not a transactional relationship. It's not about what can I get from this person? It's what can I give to this person? How can I be a blessing to them? How can I help them with overcome something, get unstuck, develop a new perspective, solve a problem? How can I help them grow as a person? How can we grow together? I think the third part of my answer would be to find those areas of common interest. Where, are they in a stage of life where raising teenagers, adolescents is really important. And maybe you've been along that path and you have some, some stories you can share. Maybe they're really important. Maybe they're really, really wanting to get in shape with their physical health. And you've, you've done some things that have worked and you can offer some ideas, you can invite them to become a workout partner. Maybe you want to read a book together, the person's interested in developing creativity. And you have some books that you've read that people that are really creative, and they know how to stimulate the creative process and develop disciplines that help folks be more creative. Hey Gaurav, let's read this book together, I'll send you a copy. Every other week, we'll meet and we'll discuss two chapters, and we will share what we've learned, how does that sound? 22:03 So finding the connection and reaching out this person, second one is looking at how can I add value? Where can I assist you? How can I be of service to you? And the third one, as you mentioned, is doing things together? Yes. You know, if I were to pick up the same analogy, if I were to pick up these three steps in the organizational context, just curious, can we genuinely build friendships in the professional circle as well? Because that's a question that I often hear people talking about that know what, you can only make friends in your school or college, you don't make friends in the professional circle. How fun is that true for you? 22:45 SKIP: I think there's no difference at all, I don't see a boundary there. It's the same approach I have at work. If you're not going to become best friends, you're not going to become learning and growth and accountability partners with every co-worker. But there are people who you find a common spark a common interest, people that you connect with, and you want to deepen it. And I see no problem with that at all. I think. In fact, it's what I've done throughout my career. So maybe, I've crossed some perceived boundary lines, but I wouldn't do anything differently. Gaurav, I have one more thing to share with you about friendships. And I think there's a Swedish proverb that my friends and I share and it's how it's sort of how we approach the relationship. And it goes like this, the Swedish proverb says that a joy shared is twice the joy and a sorrow shared is half the sorrow. When I can share with you when I can share with one of my friends, something that I'm really this really troublesome and upsetting to me I can cut the sorrow in half. 23:57 GRV: You know, interestingly, when we have this same in India, I will share that and it means exactly what you're talking about… ki khushiyan batane se badhti hai aur gam baatne se kam hotein hai. Khushiyan is happiness when you share happiness, it grows and dukh which is sorrow when we share that they shrink. Yes. So it's a universal expression. 24:25 Isn't that wonderful? 24:27 Isn't this beautiful? 24:29 I'm American it fits how I live and how I approach relationships if it's Swedish in nature, the one I mentioned, India you have the principle of your own, it must be universal. 24:43 It is. I remember Skip, last time you spoke about friendship is a universal language. Its irrespective of where you from, irrespective of the geography that you're from, irrespective of the caste, the creed, the religion you represent, the color of the skin that you represent. Right there is some basic essense that remains the same. And you spoke about that's a universal language. Tell me more about that. 25:08 Well, I'm not well-traveled, haven't been all over the world. But I think we were built for connection. Humans were built for connection, we weren't made to do this life alone, it goes back to ancient civilization that people, people who that left the group, the tribe, they went out left the village, they put themselves at extreme risk, and many times they didn't come back. But when they stayed together and helped one another, they lived more successfully, they thrived. They hunted better, they ate better, they raised their children better they, the list goes on. And so you know, another principle comes to mind that if we want to go fast, we go alone. But if we want to go far, we travel in a group. And so I think that sums up why friendships are a universal language. And I think Gaurav, if I'm not mistaken, that is an African proverb and African principle. 26:13 It's a universal principle, I'm sure. Yes, yes. Skip interestingly, your have worked in different companies, you have started your own consulting companies. Today, you work with different people and different organizations, we are talking about friendship, we said that human beings are built for genuine connections, we thrive on genuine connections, we all have this basic need to belong. Just curious, what do you think what comes in the way of building this genuine connection? 26:46 I think it can be a few things. Number one can be fear. Some of us just have a apprehension about meeting new people or about taking the next step forward with an acquaintance, to develop that into a friendship. So I think that can be some fear, I think there can be pride. If I take that first step with you and Gaurav with you and I've met, I want to develop and cultivate a friendship with you, I want to invest in you. I want to truly get to know you. And I want to share our sorrows and our joys. But when I do that, the first time, the first effort doesn't get returned to me in full measure. And so my pride says he's not worth it. I'm not going to get what I deserve from this relationship. And so my pride causes me to pull back and that relationship never reaches maturity. So I think those are probably the two most common reasons. What do you say? Do you have some observations or ideas about that? 27:50 You know, the first one is you said fear. The second one is you said, pride and I’m just reflecting in my life. Who are those people, I stay away from? There are people in my life where at one point in time, we were like really good buddies. We were like, really good friends. And now we don't talk to each other. Yeah, 28:14 same with me, I have the same category of friends. Former friends, at one point in time, they were, you know, you were around them a lot, a lot of frequency of contact, and you knew everything that was going on in their lives. And maybe you've grown apart. 28:32 Yeah. So what are you talking about the fear, I will call it insecurity. And the underpinning is ego. That comes from insecurity, right? The ego and insecurity, they go hand in hand. This is like where in India we say Ahem. Okay, we say it Mein is I when I start to look at myself bigger than anybody else around me, but I start to compare myself with others when I start to realize where I start to create a wall of separation between me and the other person. That's where I start to diminish. Who could I potentially be? And thus, I kill the friendship. 29:12 Right? Absolutely. That's well said. It's so true. And so important for folks to realize. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Gaurav, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I think. I thinking back on my past and my relationships, there would have been a time in my life. And this is insecurity. You touched on that when I just didn't want to be around people who were wiser than me or who were more successful than me. And that's a comparison, isn't it? I don't do that anymore. Or I am intentional mindful about not comparing myself to other people. And when I strip that away, gosh, there's just a lot more. A lot more connection and successful friendship and growth and relationship. Because I'm not worried about how do I compare to this person, it's just how can I, how can I love on this person? How can I serve them? How can I help them? 30:12 Yeah, you know another thing that I'm just reflecting on right now, and we were talking about where you spoke about that you stayed with your wife and I was talking about that we stay in a joint family, where you spoke about that next week, you will be going and meeting your parents after that two, three months, and I was told that we stay together in one house, my brother, my sister in law, their two kids, my mom and my dad, we all stay together, my wife, of course, and my daughter. Now, interestingly, I'm sure you were not born with that comparison, you were not born with that insecurity. Same is the case with me, I have been a very, very insecure guy, there is there has always been a very competitive streak within me, for as long as I've known myself. And I still suffer from that. I'm sure we are not born into that we are not we were not born with that, even born into the context that taught us how to compare ourselves constantly. And unless we work on that will not be able to let shell out that skin back to our absolute nature. And what you mentioned is that we are born for connections. Yes, yes. 31:28 We may need to add a psychologist to our next conversation who can help us understand where that originates? I think you've articulated it very, very well. 31:42 And I'm just wondering if I were to take this connection to the next level, what can we do to revisit our seven because you know, every time I speak to my father, he does not talk about the accomplishment that he has had in his life. He talks about the relationship that he misses, he talks about his brother and the kind of friendship that he had with his elder brother. He talks about his friends when he was in Pakistan, right as a young child. Yeah. Sometime back, I was sitting with a friend's mother, and she was talking about her friends. So how is it that you know, deep down, we long for connections, at the end of the journey, we talk about connections and in between when we are living in this life in the role of this life, we forget all these things, how can we come back home? How can we actually spread this message that friendship is really important. And these are the few steps that would help us to build that connection to build that bond with these people? What's your take on this? 32:50 I think it's about intentionality, and focus and discipline. Really, let's say that someone's living the way you described there. They're not focusing on what's important. They're not focusing on the purpose. They're not focusing on the relationships that matter. And they, they are blessed to have that realization, someone lifts the curtain up, and they say, Ah, I don't like how I'm living. I don't like this at all. I'm focused on the wrong people and the wrong things. You know what Gaurav, tomorrow is a new chance to do something different. Maybe you want to make big, sweeping, wholesale change in your life, and you want to do a reset and come up with a whole new strategy. Or maybe you want to try one new thing, beginning tomorrow, for a week. And build upon that as a first layer foundation of success. And then add on to that, and add on to that. But it's up to us, we have the power, we have the if we listen if we stop and listen. And we look inside ourselves. We have the knowledge, the wisdom, we have the power. And so it really just involves having the courage to do tomorrow differently than we did today. 34:09 You know, I love it when you said that intentionality focus and discipline for me that's going to be the three letters that I'm going to take away intentionality (I F, and D), you know, for as long as I'm willing to put my intention that hey, these are the people that I would like to further strengthen my bond with. And I'm going to continuously focus on making sure that I reach out to them, as you mentioned, offer, how can I be of service to you? How can I assist you to fulfill your dreams? And the third one is making sure we can do things together and then I require rigorous discipline in my life, right, 34:48 right. In discipline, as you know, I'm telling you what you already know. But discipline often has a negative connotation that involves punishment or pain and suffering but really discipline in this sense of living a better life and being mindful. And being focused on our intentions is just about forming healthy, repeatable habits that we practice. We practice frequently. We welcome them. And we see that they're for our good. 35:19 Thank you Skip. Skip a couple of questions. One is, you know, with all the experiences that you've been able to gather for yourself, the connection that you have been able to build for yourself, all the conversations that I've had with so many brilliant minds on earth. What do you know for sure, with 100% certainty and surety? 35:43 I know that we live in a way to pursue wisdom. That's what I know to be true. I live my life to pursue wisdom and to surround myself with wise people. That's my main then the name of my podcast is The Main Thing. That's my main thing right now. It may change in the future. But that's what I'm all about is pursuing wisdom truth. And surrounding myself with people that are wise. And I think, Gaurav someone that's listening right now. But what's the difference? You guys are just splitting hairs. This is so. So such a thin margin of difference in minutia. Literally, it's not. So let's contrast knowledge and wisdom, mate, could we do that for a minute? Can we, I 36:33 would love to, I would love to. Yeah. 36:34 So knowledge, to me includes facts, theories, information, stories. We read a lot of books, we get a lot of knowledge, right? We talked about that earlier. Wisdom in contrast is which information or out of all that former category, which of those things are important right now, what's relevant, what's most important? Which of those principles, which of those books that I've read? From those what chunk of knowledge do I need to apply right now? When to apply it? We've all faced situations where there are conflicting truths, which is more true, and which is more relevant right now. That's wisdom. It's time-tested. It's been experimented with, we've had personal triumphs and failures that have proven it to us. That's wisdom. And that's what I'm all about is acquiring wisdom. We have a mutual friend Rajesh setti, who says it very beautifully. He says, We can walk along life's path, mindlessly and bump and make our own mistakes and fall down and get hurt. Or we can surround ourselves with people that have already walked the path and we can listen and learn from them how to do it the easy, easier way. And then that's wisdom. And that's wisdom. Absolutely, 37:55 yes. Absolutely. Yes. You know, and I love it when we had when you were creating a distinction between knowledge and wisdom. And as you mentioned, pursuing wisdom and truth. Yes, because knowledge is outside them. Right. But wisdom is what I make out of that what's happening to me and segue inside 38:18 out. Yeah, wow. Yeah, write that down, please. Write down write that down. Please. Can we can put your name under it. But that's that is fabulous knowledge is outside in wisdom is from the inside out. 38:36 Yeah. And also you know, since we are talking about separation, we are talking about bond we are talking about connection we are talking about, you know, finding your purpose. And thus, it takes so much time to come back home and look at what's my purpose. There are books written on purpose. There are books written on truth and wisdom. But my truth will always remain different from your truth. And I think when once we start to come back home, we realize that there's only one truth. Right? And that's what is different. That's what is written in different scriptures, where they talk about oneness, they talk about the concept of non-duality. Right so here's the last question Skip for you. Skip, if you were to give a piece of advice to your own 20-year-old self what would you offer? 39:34 I would tell my 20-year-old self to balance hard work on this side of the scale with rest and forgiveness of self on this side of scales, pushing and striving and hard work over here, over here, rest and recovery and self-forgiveness, balance those two things that 20-year-old skip was all about striving and working and comparing myself to others and doing more, more, more, more. I did not value appreciate rest, forgiving myself and taking care of myself. 40:22 Thank you for sharing that. Because, you know, the other day I was talking to somebody that we can have all the goals. But if the container of the purpose that we're holding all our goals into, it's not stable enough, we might not be able to take care of those, those goals. And the goal without a goal, which is not grounded into values and purpose will only feed into our ego. 40:43 That's so true. Oh, I love that. That is. Wow. Wow. That is fabulous. Brilliant. Brilliant. 40:52 Thank you so much. Skip. What a pleasure speaking to you. What a great 40:58 conversation. Has it been one minute? Five minutes? Yes. 34? I don't know. I don't know. Because it feels like time stopped just like you said, Gaurav that. You are a special person. And I enjoy every time that we're together and it's been a blessing. Thank you for asking fabulous questions, causing me to look within myself with within inside myself. And challenging what I think and deepening and sharpening my wisdom truth. Thank you for that. You really bring that out. 41:37 Thank you so much. May you continue to pursue your wisdom and your truth and may you always continue to shine and spread the message of what it means to live a life from a space of truth you so much. I look forward to chatting with you again. 41:55 So long for now.